If you were to have met me in early 1999, in most people’s minds, I was living the American dream. I had a successful career having received four promotions in three years, a wife and four year old son, Noah, and a great house in the suburbs. Like any other family we had problems but, looking back, I know that we were truly happy.
In June our doctor told us that Noah needed to have his adenoids and tonsils out because of chronic ear infections. We scheduled it for a Friday thinking that by Monday we would be returning to normal and ready to start the summer. The surgery was reported uneventful but Noah’s recovery was fraught with difficulties. After many phone conversations with his surgeon he was finally admitted into the emergency room. Monday morning, though no better, he was discharged and we took him home.
Five hours later Noah hemorrhaged from his surgical site and died at home with my wife doing CPR desperately trying to save him. Noah died from medical error following a routine surgery. Monday, June 14th, 1999 ended not with excitement for summer plans but with a life torn apart … it was as if my wife and I were standing still as the world around us continued.
A friend of ours showed up on our doorstep with a bag from a bookstore. So desperate to help us, but not at all sure where to turn, she had purchased all the books that she could find that had anything to do with grief. A stranger gave our names to the local Compassionate Friends, a self-support organization for grieving families. With these limited resources, I took my first steps of the grief journey.
Noah’s birth had changed me; my world became so much bigger than myself. There was this little life that depended on me for everything. My ability to love deepened that day.
Noah’s death changed me again and the world became even bigger. I now saw a world full of hearts that hurt just like mine. I craved to be with people who understood the loss that I felt, the overwhelming devastation. I clung to the stories of how they reinvested in life and found joy again.
As impossible as it seemed to me … I had to believe that there was hope to be found.
And, those who had found it were guiding lights in my darkness.
And, those who had found it were guiding lights in my darkness.
As I continued on my grief journey, I realized that there were many more resources available but they were difficult to find, especially for those newly bereaved. I thought about how helpless our friend felt with only a bag full of books to offer us.
I knew that there had to be a better way to reach out to those who are earlier on this road. I saw how differently we all grieve and that each of us needs different tools to find hope.
This realization inspired my wife and me to found The Grief Toolbox – a community of grief resources. The Grief Toolbox provides many tools for those who grieve and those who want to help; there are thousands of articles, grief related artwork, a grief group locator, a marketplace of grief and memorial products.
Most of our contributors are bereaved themselves and want to reach out to help others. The Grief Toolbox continues to expand the offerings to the bereaved. We have produced an original DVD series designed to be used in a facilitated group and we continue to invite others into the community, such as The Birdhouse Project.
I have learned that joy and sorrow can and do co-exist, and that life can be good again.
Noah is a part of my life. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about him. I no longer see him as a four year old little boy who relies on me for everything. Instead, he is where I draw strength. I am more than just myself, I live my life for both of us.
My hope is that in the work that I do, I help others to find hope and joy in their own lives. If you are interested in joining our community, please do not hesitate to contact us … we are here for you.
Bio – Glen Lord
After the death of my son, Noah, I became a fellow traveler on this grief journey. It was at my first TCF meeting that I found much needed love, support, understanding, and most importantly hope that I could be whole again.
I have been involved in the Compassionate Friends on many levels and positions. As a member of TCF, I have been involved in the 2005 Boston Conference, Boston North Shore Newsletter; fund raising and publicity for the Manchester, NH chapter. I have been a member of TCF in NJ, MA and NJ. and am currently a facilitator in my local Nashua/ Manchester chapter, serve as the 2013 Fundraising Chair for the Boston National Conference, and serve on the national Board of Directors.
Utilizing my strong background in sales, finance and marketing and operations management, I have extensive experience developing multiple organizations, and have held executive level positions in multiple Fortune 500 companies. I am presently CEO of ARC Marketing Inc as well as The Grief Toolbox, and a Managing Director of Easy Rich Development International.
The tools to finding hope again are different for each person…
This realization inspired me to cofound The Grief Toolbox www.theGriefToolBox.com), a community of grief resources. The Grief Toolbox provides many tools for those who grieve and those who want to help; there are thousands of articles, and grief related artwork, a grief group locator, a marketplace of grief and memorial products. The grief journey can make us feel lonely but we do not travel alone.
I am an executive producer of the Walking Through Grief® series, and a speaker and presenter on grief and loss. Noah’s death, and all the stumbles along this grief journey, has changed many of my priorities and allowed for extensive personal growth. I spend as much time as I can with my family and two adopted teenage sons.
Through the work of Grief ~ I have found purpose, passion and hope.
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