At one time I lived in a big house, had an impressive job, a nice car, and important friends. I spent my time chasing the Joneses and dreamed of living large like Oprah or Donald Trump. I thought I was important and life was perfect; but like many people I took for granted the things that were really important; my family, my friends, my life.
One day my daughter who was nine, came home and said she didn’t feel well. I figured she probably had the flu and so I told her to lie down. She asked me to tell her, her favorite story, a story I had been telling her since she was five years old. “Ok” I said and told it to her quickly and then said, “Now go to sleep princess.”
Around two o’clock in the morning I heard a strange noise and got up to see what it was. “Ginger are you all right?” I asked, “Ginger? Are you all right?” Suddenly I was screaming, “Ginger! Ginger! Ginger!” My beautiful daughter had stopped breathing and died. She didn’t have the flu; she died from an infection in her heart.
My daughter’s death was like a bomb that blew apart my family and my life. As Dante said, “In the middle of the journey of life, I came to myself within a dark wood and the way was lost.” I was lost. For the next two years, I woke up each day and made only one decision. Would today be the day I killed myself or would I wait until tomorrow? I guess it’s a good thing that I’m the world’s greatest procrastinator. But honestly, I didn’t think I could do that to my husband and my son.
One day, my husband took me to Maui, and as I sat on the grass near the Seven Sisters waterfalls, watching the sunset over the horizon and the waves crashing against a magnificent shore, the salt air filling my lungs. I was stunned at how beautiful it was… it was so beautiful. And I asked, “God, how you can make something so beautiful and yet take everything that is beautiful from me”. I don’t understand.
And in that moment I had what I can only describe as a spiritual experience. I realized that I was part of a vast and miraculous universe and with a creation this magnificent I couldn’t possibly understand it all. But if I were willing to trust God then one day, I would be given the answer to my questions.
My daughter’s life, although short, had been a gift. A gift I took for granted. What was really important was not how rich, how successful or how famous I became. It was the people I loved and the joy I found in living every day. A proverb says “What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.”
I learned to ask myself, “What did you exchange for today? Are you living life so caught up that you forget to focus on the things that are really important, your family, your health, and your friends? Are you celebrating life?
- In a small town in Italy at sunset everyone comes out of their houses to sit on benches and watch the sunset. They celebrate life.
- In Latvia, people celebrate the summer by running across a local bridge at 3:00 am in the morning…naked. They celebrate life.
- But Americans, we rush through our days. Our lives become routine, we fall into a rut. Do you know the difference between a rut and a grave? Not much.
My daughter’s death taught me to celebrate life; to live with purpose, laughter and love … and to see each day as a gift.
I often ask myself, “What did you exchange for today?” Was it worth it? In the 4.5 billion year history of the universe this day only comes once. I’m committed to exchange each day for the things that are really important and to embrace this miracle called life?
How do you feel about your life right now? Are you happy? Do you see every moment as a gift? Or are you so entrenched in the everyday hassles of life that you don’t have the time to focus on what’s really important, on what brings you joy.
What did you exchange for today?
Bio – Gaye Freedman, Ed.D
Gaye Freedman, Ed.D, has a Doctorate in Education from the University of Southern California and over 20 years experience working in the field of Training and Development. She has worked in corporations including Intel and Cisco Systems and non-profit organizations including the YWCA, Black Chamber of Commerce, Girl Scouts and the Bill Wilson Center for homeless and runaway teens in San Jose, CA.
As Chief Education Officer of Global Education Projects she developed “The Global Kids Club” a web based educational program for ages 8-12 designed to introduce elementary students to the people, places and cultures of the world. And as the owner of Life Strategies Consulting, she specialized in motivational workshops for women. A passionate advocate for women she used humor and creativity to inspire women to achieve their dreams.
As part of her life journey she also picked up a hobby…..Comedy… and has been having a blast working as a comic for the last few years. During the recession when everything seemed to crash and burn she decided that life was too short to bitch and moan. “I mean really nothing is promised so what the heck.” Her motto became, “If it ain’t fun don’t do it.” And this is what her life is about, being happy and living a life of joy and laughter.
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